Perspective

from where I stood
you tried to break
and break
and break me

but I was too
I was too…
rigid
protected
resistant
demanding
controlling

I was too
unbreakable

for my own good

and my own good
is what I didn’t know
from there
from where I stood

you tried
you tried
to love me
but your own good
wouldn’t let you
so you began
to break away
and that breaking away
that breaking away…
that slow and steady pain
of my own resistance
holding on so tightly
I breathed you in and refused to
let you go
a prisoner in my heart
I would have kept you locked away
but you were too
you were too
unchainable
unhaveable
unbendable
un…
mine

you were all of those
for your own good

and I broke myself open
fighting against
my own good
and yours

from where I stand now
what I didn’t know
about being broken
about being broken open
is filling me to overflowing
with my own good

To rest…

So it’s not like being swept off my feet… it’s more like I’ve put the broom back in the broom closet forever and I’ve gone out to lay in the grass and gaze up at the sky. My heart has fallen silent and peaceful.

This is a new place I’ve discovered. This is a new restful plateau. I’ve not been here before. I think I saw this place from above once and I couldn’t figure out how to get down to it. I was in the clouds and they kept blocking the view of this magical place I am in.

And he is not just holding my hand. His hand is like peace that has been placed on my heart. I can rest in him. My mind can rest. My heart can rest.

He is not a question. There is no question to ask. He is the answer… and the answer is “Everything is just right, darling.”

It doesn’t feel like being swept off my feet… it feels more like I was a kite that turned into a girl. No more winds will blow me away into the emotion of a cloudy sky. Instead, I am laying on the grass, with his hand on my heart, making bunny shapes out of the clouds that used to get in my way.

On my Birthday Eve…

The years are like shadows
like gifts
from the sun

time falls across
you casting shadows
at your feet
like the present
you can’t return

once the shadow is cast
there it is
once the year has past
there it is
the only thing to change
is your perspective

facing the future
the shadows fall behind you
and you cannot see how they stretch
to your last known horizon

facing what has past
the shadows darken the path
and you cannot clearly see
the safest place
to take that step
but no
we dare not tread
within those shadows
of our past
they are dark and meant only
to show us where we have been
they are a mark
of those lessons we have already
carried

turn again to the future
and your shadow turns with you
it is a strange reflection of your every
moment
and like a sundial you cast your shadow
around the circumference of your every day
and in each moment
adjust your perspective
so you will step into the light
and not into your
dark

now go into this coming year
open wide your heart
your mind
let the future cast it’s light
on all the new places and people and
possibilities
your shadow has yet to embrace
and Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday
dear friend